Videos

Placing Death in the Context of the Jewish Lifecycle (Rabbi Efrem Goldberg)

Added Feb 17, 2016 •

Copy this URL:
Embed code:	<iframe class="edlio-embed-player" type="text/html" width="640" height="360" src="//www.yeshivahs.org/apps/embed/?v=104060" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> Change dimensions

Show Transcript

I want to begin by I have limited time and I want to cover a lot of material so we going to quickly and I won't spend a lot of time on this but I want to thank rebike roll it takes a certain courage of a leader of a school to initiate take on a new project and it's not simple but he did it with this and he does it with so many things in you and we are so fortunate for micros leadership I also want to acknowledge and thank Mrs Vermin ruffle Berman she's taught me so much in this area and has been a mentor since our early days and forming off every kadeesha she is passionate about educating the total community in the whole world in this issue in a way that is touch so many people through the wonderful book think me to be on death and and it's great that she's in the shade of this fantastic program don't thank you for all of that  will the time this morning but I want to talk to you about death  I wonder if anyone in your life has ever spoken to you about death I'm not just pick Rihanna people you can reach my age if I weren't in the business that I'm in invited encounter death is often as I unfortunately do I don't know that anyone would have spoken to me about death if I had not countered it with the loss of a grandparents or someone even closer God forbid what happens at death from the very practical about how the body is treated and what happens between when the soul leaves the body and the bodies placed in the ground to the spiritual is turn afterlife what is the soul experiencing what happens in death where does the soul go what does it feel very very mysterious death I sat at the bedside of numerous people on their deathbed when they knew their lives were coming to an end that's scary death is scary but studying about death does not have to be scary and that's what this great program I think is designed to do and that's what I wanted to getting I'm just what's today really you're going to focus on the work of the cover can you show the incredible activity does from the moment a person dies and the body needs to be picked up through the Tyra process to prepare preparation of the body the dressing of the body through the burial through the Shiva home what I want to offer you this morning is a brief introduction why were doing all that what's that really all about why we just discard the body and move on what are we going through with these motions of treating the body such care and concern and affection and love and to begin to touch on some of the questions that I shared with you but I want to draw attention to some of the sources because when ice need about this changed my life and I hope it will have the same impact on yours you see the entire conversation about death is predicated on an understanding what life understanding is what is life really all about who are we I tell you to point to yourself what would you point to winter self  it's almost everyone in the room is pointing to their chest is pointing to their heart most people point to their heart who am I this is me for my heart is what's the only problem with that  can I have a heart transplant so are you now the other person are you them are you are you so try again going to yourself  Smiley point to your head your brain Believe It or Not scientists already developing Notions you can Google this later the ability to brain transplants are the ability to download the memories of your brain even a brain doesn't assili house all that we are when I talk about who are you who are we I mean where is the composite of our memory of our experiences of our feelings of our relationships of our dreams of our disappointments where is all of that house suggestion is that it's housed in a place drizzly isn't a place at all it's housed in the soul that were made up of two composite beings that we live in New Dimensions or realm simultaneously on the one is we have everything in common with the animal world we have everything in common with the animal kingdom the time does the Whitney we eliminate what we've eaten and we reproduce and if we reduce human beings to their essence of their core that's what fills our day in our lives in order of energy we eliminate that which we've eaten that we reproduce and those are the very same three things that an animal does to a great degree with no different than an animal morning we have our animal body when you think of an animal what words do you think of right if somebody's if your room is very messy and your parent tells you to clean up your room because it like a  a pigsty looks like a zoo looks like a pigsty somebody stuffing food indiscriminately into their mouth you're eating like a what are you to make a pig somebody wouldn't when somebody acts instinctively intuitively impulsively we say they're acting like an animal an animal doesn't self-awareness animal doesn't have a Godly soul I don't know if an animal lovers here I'm not knocking the animal and animals man's best friend and loyal and lovely and cuddly and all that good stuff now I'm a maybe feels pain maybe you think an animal feels Joy put an animal is what-you-see-is-what-you-get tomorrow says of behave mine Hebrew they mybama witch is what you get the animal has no self-awareness your animal doesn't say what do I look like in the skirt or I hope I get into that college and you think that boy likes me the animal doesn't have self aware the animal doesn't have dreams the animal is impulse when the animal wants to eat and eats whether or owns it or not whether it's entitled to eat it or not it is when the animal wants to eliminate it does what tree belongs to its owner or not with their in public or private when the animal wants to reproduce it doesn't first take out on a date and buy a nice dinner and develop relationship the Anna acts on impulse and every human being has within us and animal right if you go to page 5-6 the Tanya this is the essence of Tanya the safe for shall be no name the notion of the animal Soul there's an animal inside all of us but we were given something in addition to the animal so we are given a Godly Spirit we also have until these 567 keep going page 9 The rambam Source 8 9 attacked this is just a cute story page town is Source 10 is in ReStore in 2005 at a London Zoo they placed a human being in a cage because they wanted to make the statement that we have giraffes and we have difference and we have monkeys with another homicidal we all kinds of animals we have a lizards and we have frogs we have Turtles are we leaving check out the human being in the cage but we don't believe that we believe that yes we are physical beings in our physical sense we function and likely like animals impulsively we have desires that act like animals but I'm top of that we have something called a Godly Soul so it's 12in voracious by Epoch be apart God breathed into her nostrils the soul of life and the Kabbalah teaches I'm old enough now to teach that to you on a page 11 the number to find rights to sand Source 13  the glass blower in Cabo that has the analogy the glass polar takes a deep breath then they blow through a tube and they fill a glass in order to make it into the shape that they want that's on the glass blower blows glass when got to be life into us he took a deep breath soda let me blow through a tube and you breathe life into us or we have inside of us is a piece of God God's breath can be found in in US so we have this incredible tension you feel it everyday I feel it everyday and he's thoughtful spiritual person feels it everyday it's an unbelievable tension between the animal that says eat the cheesecake you deserve it look at that thing say that thing eat that thing be that do what you want do what makes you happy impulsively you're an animal satisfy that animal urge do what you want that with The Godly spirit that says your dignified be disciplined have control Aspire ambitious for loft your Heights for greater things that's an unbelievable tension the look and seem right about that tension an article called lawn spirituality defining term some page 12 Source 15 he describes and Browning's phrase half angel and half dust and all passion and a tell desire he has a great quote monteens French an observation put in the mouth of Raymond Symone the man aspires for the Stars what's the weather looking to set it I couldn't repeat it Maness tire aspires for the stars and all the wild cannot rise from his toilet seat words is there any greater description that we are animal that we have to go to the bathroom  bright man aspires for the Stars we have all kinds of our soul turns for the heavens for the toilets he keeps his rooted to the ground I don't care who you are I don't care how much money you make I don't care how whole your spiritual you are I don't what your Fame and Celebrity Status you got to go to the bathroom when Nature Calls the toilet is the great equalizer and it makes us all remember that we bar animal that our body is an animal right this is religious than quoting montain why don't know who he is but I'm sure some major literary farty the man rosters for the stars but all the wild cannot rise from the toilet seat just as an aside in the broth of Usher Yachts are we say that God created man Bahama what's the Holcomb of the wisdom that God created man is that he makes us have to go to the bathroom which creates a sense of humility it keeps us grounded it make smartest I should have done bit, he fashioned man with wisdom in other words he made us modesty made us all all grounded so Source 14 what's the most important Source kohelis Ecclesiastes chapter 12 via show what happened body is the result of procreation of fertility sperm penetrates a egg and ovum is fertilized it divides last assistant too many cells I'm sure you've learned about this in science keeps further dividing until the body is formed at some point our tradition is at the 40th Day who is inserted into that body and the human being is born in animal body inspired an animated by a Godly soul what happens at the end of life the soul is extracted from the body the body returns to the dust that's what this verse says seem to be the dust return the ground as it was and the spirit returns to God who gave it so our tradition teaches go to page 14 Source 18 when is the soul created  everyone of us is a soul in the end of days what we look in the mirror we think who we are as our body we spend a lot of time pamper ourselves we spend a lot of time indulging we spend a lot of time on vanity on the appearance the impression that we make we think we are the person we see in the mirror but the essence of who we really are is not a we see in the mirror but is our soul is our soul our soul is the result of the is that we make our soul is the desert of the decisions or soul is what we Aspire for our soul is the dignity the self-awareness it's the decisions our soul is the self control in the discipline or soul is caring about other people and bigger things than ourselves so when was that soul that houses all when was it created and how long does it last so tell the teachers in need the source 18 and end of it but you have to call in a show Michelle bag of that really when God created the entire world in the six days of creation nearly six thousand years ago or many billion years ago you can reconcile that another time when God created the world he also created Every Soul that was destined to exist and God has a file cabinet a celestrial file cab in the heavens in which he files all these Souls that he created Every Soul that was destined to exist was already created since the beginning of time and he waits for the right moment listen to Tom and Son entrance was 19 I don't take the time to be reading this one side but I just want to communicate to you that our tradition has all of this there are sources I'm not making this up to you too God dips into his cabinet right a loving hopefully in the act of love between a husband and wife choose to bring a child into the world the the is created there are three Partners in creation says they going to need the man the woman and the almighty so that the fertility takes place conception takes place God reach what was file cabinet he takes what he thinks is the correct soul to live in that time and that place and have those parents in live that existence and he places that so into that body so when did the soul when was the soul created not when the parents decided to get together not in the labor room and not at the 40th conception our souls have existed since existence itself God waited for the right moment for the right place for the circumstance to place us in a body the soul how long does the soul exists for does the soul ever expire  the soul last for because of the Soul really is an extension of the almighty of the soul is God's breath just as the almighty just as I said his eternal is Immortal so to the soul is Immortal it last whatever it goes back and returns to God that's why we are prohibited from excessive morning at source 21 page 15 the Torah prohibits us from morning why cuz if you more excessively what are you suggesting  set at the moment of death not only did the body die at the moment of death the soul that's the end of the song total that person their whole existence is over its ended we don't believe that we just believe the Soul's been extracted from the what we really believe was put best actually in source of 22 this is from the journal the British friend 1892 never chose that at l a says George MacDonald you have a soul teach him you are a soul you have a body if you remember nothing else listen to this not that we think that we are a body and we have a soul but that's the opposite the truth is we are a soul we have body or soul is wearing this body for period of time somewhere the body some Souls where the body 70 years 80 years 125 is the four lucky some Souls only wear their body for a few years and tragically are extracted earlier what happens at the end of life and this is the purpose that we're here together what happens at the end of that life the soul is extracted from the body that house did the vessel that house  that's how I rabbis understand it look at the rambam and Lauren of hookah Source 23 it's not all rabbis don't call death if you look into town but it's not called me so it's called you to see us honey off the extraction of the Soul that's not death does not death you know what dies the body dies the body decays the body is finite the body is Mortal the soul is Immortal it's infinite the soul is for ever so at death at so-called death it's only the body that's dying the soul is simply being extracted the rosenblatt Riverdale likes to say and I've learned from him to repeat this that we don't bury people we bury bodies people  their soul continues to live our connection to it becomes more limited once it's extracted from the the soul is Immortal we don't bury people we bury bodies we're not a body that has a soul or a soul that has a body and at the end of our Lives the so when's extracted from the body that housed it was 24 used to say so incredible quote you know when I get home from I live in this Suit and Tie what's around by I wear all the time my kids know like the end of the summer of my vacation when I put a tie on for the first time in like biopsy next summer like they just see the time Plano back to work so at the end of the day there's nothing I love more I like roll you love taking off the tie put 94 job put on the short and teeth shorts and a t-shirt relaxing the greatest thing to just take off your clothing do I mourn when I take off my clothing do I say goodbye to the tie  I throw it in the corner do they have for never in it right and I don't cry I'm excited to be able to undress Cedric not going to breast love I can't wait to take off the Garment that is body cuz understood that he was a soul that was wearing a body and the body with constricting and restrictive and holding him back and burdensome and tracting and filled with temptation and impulse so he couldn't wait to undress in the body and to Simply Be a soul we are soul soul is Immortal the soul is extracted from the body when does the soul leave those big discussion the Tom and Shabba Source 25 let's go to find Shuffle on this brings us to the essence  when does the soul leave the body right source 26 you are there Kevin should not to Autumn Lamaze English only part of America dislocating after boo hoo year he did you see when the soul is extracted from the body what do you think is that rueful where's that pleasurable  resync I wish we could do more interaction again if I'd 5 hours weed the whole day to study this topic it wouldn't be enough but I own a few minutes you think it's pleasurable you think it's painful when the soul is extracted from the body when it sounds like it's pleasure can't wait things pleasurable a painful or tradition teaches it depends it all depends on how you lived your life if you lived your life neglecting the soul and pamper body because you always thought that that illusion was reality and the reality was illusion so that's going to be very painful if your entire life is about pampering thought you looked in the mirror and you cared about how you look and you pampered and intelligence is your house your car your your reputation before you cared about was you that on the superficial so you spent 70 80 120 years thinking that that's you now the soul is extracted from the body and you the solar looking down at that lifeless body in your side one second that's not me what I looked at in the mirror what I invested in what I sacrificed for when I cared about that's not me this is the real me that is incredibly painful if you live your entire life knowing that you are a soul that's how is the in a body if you feel that yeah you need them it's your vehicle to interact in this world but the body is an illusion and would see the movie The Matrix I was once contemporary when I talked about the Matrix but now the Matrix is like anxious right what's that a whole talk where you watch The Matrix and then the Matrix is an unbelievable expression of of Judaism where you're living in a war what you think is reality but it's all an illusion it's an Atrix and does an alternative reality which is the true reality well that sucks this world is an illusion it looks like it's real but it's a it's it's it's fake it's an authentic it's real only in that allows us to make the decisions that shape the soul but the body it's finite the temp oral fleeting it's not going to last so if you lived your life understanding that and you invested in the soul you sought and you pursued who and righteousness you cared about improving the world you cared about other people you didn't care about overly there's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and there's nothing wrong with treating the body well at one should care about their appearance but you didn't of overly indulgent even overly pamper and you never confused what you had with who you were if you live your life knowing that morus Alba has a body when the soul is extracted from the body it's pleasurable it's Bliss it's what I say just called it's in shika it's the kiss of death because it's unbelievably pleasurable so is that moment Parable or painful it really depends if you lived your life knowing that you are a soul that has a body does pleasurable to liberate the soul it lives if you lived your life thinking that you are a body that has a soul that it's painful to abandon your body no most of us we paying for the body we really struggle we know we have a soul we try to nurture and nourish that's all but we also love her body and we love the physical so what happened to death says the show kinara I'm not making this up this is not some heebie-jeebie Source this is the code of Jewish law and this is the essence of everything that have you should does and that you're going to hear about over the next week and you're going to see on your field trip Kevin should not to Adam lumbus when a person is going to die you're not allowed to enter showing me read me Meadow you can't leave the individual alone why can they show that it's a knife show of a hooyah CD so that you don't that person's soul won't be leave the body and it will be alone because when the soul leaves the body it hovers above the body says the Tarzana nextsource the tour is over definitely be Seagal but Nation nefesh show meme's to show you some in a goof the soul when it's extracted from the body hovers above the body because it's hesitating it's by leaving the body it was so wet to all those years so you know what adds comfort and consolation and Solace that soul companionship and camaraderie  Souls going through something very painful it's leaving the body that how is it that it was confused to think was it all those years the soul is present hovering above that bodies really grieving that transformation that change the only thing that brings that sole Comfort is the knowledge did he she is not alone so the chemical is present from the moment of person looks like they're in a terminal State we don't leave that person alone for someone sleeping in the house arul the hospice room the person's home with them 24/7 so that they are not alone  the soul hovers above the body and who won  our tradition teaches the soul hovers above the body until the body is buried in the ground when the soul sees the body buried and what to where it came from now the soul can realize that's not me permanently the soul has closure that body is not the real me I cannot return to where came from so we offer companionship and comfort to that Soul until that point and Beyond by the way this is why we're so opposed to what is unfortunately the fastest choice of Jewish death which is cremation it's so tragic open Jewish newspapers and you see rabbi endorse and cremation cremation on the rabbinic supervision cremation is so counter Jewish value but it's not only a counter a Jewish value because we believe he'll likely that the body last return to the Earth from which it came but imagine the pain the soul is going through  when it's watching the body it cared so much about get incinerate in cremated in fire versus lovingly and affectionately placed in the ground with dignity return to the place where I came from  so we offer that what companion should we offer that so love we were treat that soul we recognize the palpable existence of that soul in everything we do so we have a show mare there's somebody was with that body until the burial not alone in the funeral home through the night in France if possible even when the body is flown to be buried elsewhere we try to fly the family on the same plane so that there is if a show mare in the hearse I've traveled in the need of a hearse to be the shoulder of the coffin in the back if possible we try to have a show there all the time not strictly speaking the show mirrors there because in Antiquity the body was vulnerable to be eaten by rodents today or vosha Finestein talks about the fact that we keep the remains in a proper Refrigeration so the show me the role the summer has changed but the mystical idea of the show me the spiritual idea of the Schomer is that the soul is in a period of pain in this transition can we come for the Soul by being present  now you may ask  why do we care about cuz the next thing we do how much time do I have I don't know about another 5 minutes turn okay tell me the rest of the day you may ask  okay so I'll go 561 minutes you may ask which is what bothered me one second one second the soul is Immortal is eternal Last Forever The Souls of peace of God the body is just this gourment that houses in Souls just a vehicle so why do we show such respect for the body  like adorable the opposite when the souls extracted the souls what matters let the soul return with the soul ascend trust the body if the body was nothing the body is only an illusion through the body in a dumpster cremate the body through the body in the lake why do we the opposite we treat the body with love and affection and caring concern why yeah  you're so like at the big part it affects are exactly so Source 40 page 22 look at that we flew through 40 sources them how rameau Shekinah lozado describes why did God even create a body if the soul is the extension of our God and the body is an illusion is just a place of distraction Temptation and Cleveland Clinic got even create the body to begin within the answer is because without the body the soul can accomplish nothing the body is the vehicle what's the soul interacts with the world the bodies had the Soul Mix choices and free will Free Will is with molds and shapes the soul is that so in the end of the hey good solar bad so righteous or Wicked the so selfish or selfless will what determines all that for the soul only the choice isn't made with the body forgot how to place a soul in a body to make choices that would impact the soul to God takes us so out of its file cabinet when God gives us a soul by the way it's pure say that every single morning it'll kind of shammash and I stop the beat to hold her he got the soil gave me was pure you create out of risata it's artifact of the candy got the soul you gave me is pure he then places in the body and says go run with it here 70 80 120 years ago make choices make decisions face Temptation what kind of Life are you going to live are you going to care about others rolling yourself are you going dogs in the body are you going to nourish the Soul at the end of those years six the soul outs like taking the memory card out takes his soul out and he says based on the choices you've made will now determine your permanent seat in the world to come when I want to talk about that another what happens when you get upstairs we have a tradition for that we'll talk about it another time but why would then caring for the body because the body was the holy vessel is the holding vehicle that allowed at soul to make choices but more than just that you know why we care about the body because that Grieving Soul hovering over what's body cares about the body it would be disrespectful and compound the pain of the soul to take that body and discard it so you know comfort that Soul that's coming to grips with the fact that it's moving on without the body and I would comfort that's all  my caring so affectionately about that Souls former body so what are we doing that to her room we wash the body from head to tell you going to learn all about it clean under the nails with clean the inner ears we comb the hair  you know a body comes from often hospice or the hospital  Scuttle kinds of ID he's in tubes and catheters black and blue and can be soiled we care for that body with love with affection we dress the in the top roofing in the garments that are modeled after the high priest we say all kinds of prayers we immerse the body in the Knicks 40 Chicago you learn all about this to purify the body before the body goes back to where it came from we care about that body so lovingly and that come the soul and in that tahara room where the soul is watching everything we're doing and how we treat the body it's like doing an operation with the person awake watching what you're doing are you going to have music playing in the background and tell us and her to the nurse and be taking a phone call and beat if the but it's a person were awake while you were doing the operation on them you would make it what are they have your full attention that there's decorum and dignity that there's love and care well that's soul is in that prep room watching the way we do this surgery call the tahara do so with love there's no music playing cuz no schmoozing the only thing you talk about in the tower room or the needs of the taharah are the caring about that body we don't pass things over the repast things around the person cuz you would never pass on the over someone making them like an object we don't want the soul to see his treat that body like it's an object that body was so many photos Boba treat that body with affection everything about the way we treat the body is in order to comfort the soul and recognize that bought that body was the holy vessel that shaped and mold allowed that soul to have free will to make the choices it made so from the way we wash and the way we purify in the way we dress and then the way we bury sing We Do Comforts that so yes absolutely and that's a perfect segue I will I'm sure mrs. Bremer would concur I don't know who else is done Sahara if you are a spiritually perceptible person if you have an antenna you feel that presents add solnit to her room we have a candlelit can neresheim nishmas Adam Wright the flicker of the wick the candle represents the soul of life does a candle lit in the let you do the Sahara and you feel the presence of that Soul you almost palpably tangibly feel them if you crave spirituality if you're struggling believing what I'm telling you volunteer for the fabric Edition do at O'Hara being part of Africa Nisha and doing tahara is one of the greatest thing you can do to strengthen your spirituality so when the greatest things you can do to strengthen your faith it's really greatest things you can do to inspire life not only to learn about death but you know how you your life when you realize every time you leave the tahara room you reminded about the immortality of the soul and the temporary nature of the body and remind you what's really in turn the light and it inspires and informs the way not only that you treat death but more importantly the way that you live life so we just touched on a few things so we can talk about this for hours I pages and Pages hear the question about do we believe in reincarnation does the soul ever come back as a placed in another body it's a big debate and Judaism do you notice the soul in life but really our focus in the focus of this incredible seminar is not about the how you nurture the soul of life but is what happens at death best thing we can do is to help that Soul get the greatest Comfort is it Grieves and transitions to its next stage a stage of bliss stage of Eternity stage of immortality but it pickle transition none-the-less that's our role so as I said at the beginning while death can be scary learning about death need not be mysterious Gary and that's why I so applaud mrs. Berman in this effort and and you're dedicating the time and I encourage you to get involved to study to volunteer for Heather kadeesha if you're willing it's not as scary as you think it's not as scary as you think but to do tahara and if if the tower room scares you there's a lot of things you can do to volunteer for a cover condition side the to her room but it's it's such a meaningful and fulfilling aspect of Jewish life is is an attitude educating and helping in Jewish death and Jewish more and it looks I said it really reinforces your spirituality so thank you very much  death reverse will not go off I was hoping nobody was going to ask that question I don't know the answer to that like to believe is that the body that's not properly buried because the person who made that choice we have a concept today that people really aren't willing is an educated there what we quality auction ashba and you know how likely we have that category in Jewish law so that a person who drives I'm Shabbos publicly going to racian that was taken as a great Act of rebellion then there were consequences the house initial ready passed in that today somebody drives publicly and Travis because they don't have the benefit of a Jewish Education or how's the Jewish experience is not held accountable doesn't have that same status so I think that people will make the poor choice and death today also often not always are the result of that status of teen auction ish but I'd like to believe that when they get upstairs they work it out with God and they get in none-the-less I'm sure they'd find a way to work it out God doesn't owe them to multiple because he realizes the influence that led them to that negative consequence or someone here is a family member that was God forbid cremated where that was not buried a proper burial is in a muzzle then I don't want you to not sleep tonight I don't want you to be filled with angst I will say that it's all of our responsibility to educate the Jewish communities the proper way and death and burial do and that's what we're here but I do believe that they find a way to work it out God is a compassionate loving God and well our job is to educate down here God finds a way to work it out stop there any other quick questions before hands it over yes where does the tahara in the funeral home funeral Homestead take me to prep rooms which the fabric conditioner uses as well in order to prepare the details they going to learn a lot more about in the coming days and the funeral homes this is the  turn off you'll get this in your course some are more Cooperative about to hire us some are less Cooperative at Sahara for some tahara is a revenue stream are there is there's a noble attitude towards it it's really important to have the cooperation of a funeral home because their prep room needs to be able to accommodate the needs of of tahara one of things we do to show sensitivity to the soul is a really important thing is there's no other body out in the prep room when you're doing at the Hara how does a soul feel and there's other bodies in the room it it's not respectful to The Grieving Soul so that were very careful to make sure that in that Sahara room is only one body at the end each time

Videos

Placing Death in the Context of the Jewish Lifecycle (Rabbi Efrem Goldberg)

More videos in The Final Journey